Another day in Malton

Writing by Sarpanch Sahib on Sunday, 28 of June , 2009

Another night in Malton and another mans gets shot.

Man dies after shooting at Mississauga party
Jun 28, 2009 09:30 AM


Staff Reporter
A Malton house party turned deadly after one man was gunned down early today.

Emergency crews were called to Monica Dr. near Goreway Rd. in Mississauga’s Malton community after they received several reports of shots being fired.

When they arrived, officers found a man suffering from an “undisclosed number of gunshot wounds,” said Const. Adam Minnion.

He was rushed to Etobicoke General Hospital in critical condition but was later pronounced dead.

Homicide investigators continued to investigate the scene this morning.

No arrests have been made and no suspect descriptions have been released.

There were plenty of people at the party and many fled before police had a chance to speak to them, said Minnion, who is appealing for those potential witnesses to come forward.

Even if you do not think you saw anything important, it could be a key part of the investigation, Minnion said.

Despite reports that several shots were fired, Minnion said there is no evidence at the moment to suggest there was more than one victim.

The death marks Peel’s 13th homicide of the year.

The victim’s identity will not be released until family members are notified.

In November 2007, 23-year-old David Latchana was gunned down at “Paulette’s Place,” a booze can on the same street as Sunday’s shooting. Police have not been able to confirm whether the shooting happened at the same place.

Anyone with information is asked to call homicide detectives at 905-453-2121 ext. 3205.

With files from Jasmeet Sidhu

Source: TheStar


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They’reeee Backkkkkk!

Writing by Sarpanch Sahib on Tuesday, 16 of June , 2009

Who might you say is back? We all know them. We see them on a daily basis. We curse at them on a daily basis. Yes, yes. It’s the one and only… the bad drivers of the world. Also known as female drivers.

Woman hits the gas and then the station
Jun 16, 2009 10:08 AM


Staff Reporter
More than just the price at the pumps proved painful for a woman who mistakenly hit the gas instead of the brake and smashed up a gas station in Scarborough early this morning.

Toronto police say that shortly after midnight a 43-year-old woman was pulling into a Shell station near Brimley Rd. and Finch Ave. E., when she accidentally hit the gas pedal instead of the brake.

Her Toyota Highlander veered to the left and struck a blue Dodge Caravan and a nearby garbage can damaging two gas pumps at the station, said Sgt. Carl Heilimo. The car then crashed into the front sliding doors of the convenience store at the station.

An attendant said this morning the collision had cleared, and the station and the pumps was operating as normal, save for a few damaged shelves and vending machines inside the store.

No injuries were reported.

Source: TorontoStar

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Category: Jokes

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I know I don’t got any sisters…

Writing by shinda on Sunday, 7 of June , 2009

This video reminded me of what it may have been like for some of ‘yall mans with sisters, growing up. Being constantly reminded that I never had any (sisters), I admittedly wouldn’t know, but after this can see how it would have sucked, after all keeners are always annoying…


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOJY5LGL1wg

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Still got love for the Turner scene

Writing by shinda on Friday, 29 of May , 2009

With all the new noise coming out of Malton, Toronto, Rexdale in recent years its nice to see Brampton stepping up and adding to it, sure the lyrical content isn’t humble, but I think off all the mans spitting right now, this man seems to have the the most effortless flow… plus he’s repping Turner and Wooods right, so gotta show love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYjArYc1rTY&feature=related

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Category: Video

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Playing the Blame Game

Writing by Sarpanch Sahib on Sunday, 17 of May , 2009

Not one person on this planet expected the Rockets-Lakers series to go seven games with or without Yao Ming in the line-up for the Rockets but yet here we are. As good as the Rockets have played without Yao Ming, there is no way the Lakers should have let this series go on for this long and someone, rightfully so, deserves the blame.

This entire series Phil Jackson has been outcoached by Rick Adelman. Last time a coach was outcoached this badly in a series the Cavs were getting swept in the Finals in 2007. Phil Jackson’s track record in this series is beyond horrible. For instance, did Jackson or the Lakers coaching staff not watch any game tapes from the Blazers-Rockets series? From the onset of game one it didn’t look like they did. Why did the Lakers even bother to guard Yao Ming like any other post player when fronting him from game one would have made him a non-factor? The Lakers would have won game one if they did that. The Blazers fronted Yao for almost the entire series and almost pulled out the series because the neutralized the Rockets biggest offensive threat. Also, Jackson continues to leave Fisher out there to guard Brooks and if not for the Fisher suspension in game three, the Lakers could have lost that game as well. Both Brown and Farmar do a much better job than Fisher of keeping Aaron Brooks in front of them and not let him get into the paint. Derek Fisher would have a hard time covering Dikembe Mutombo on the perimeter at this point and Mutombo only has one leg. Yet, Phil still continues to trot him out there game after game even though Brooks is blowing by him like a F1 car next to a go-kart.

Also, if you are going to leave Fisher in the game, why not make him cover Battier and have Kobe play defence on Brooks. Simple adjustments as these would have made this series over in six games or less. Along with this, he left Kobe on the bench for almost 6 minutes at the start of the 4th quarter in game six. The Lakers were making a run and got it within six points but yet Phil chose to keep his best player on the bench.

As much as Kobe is the leader of this team on the court, there is only so much he can do with Battier or Artest in his face for most of the game. The other players on his team have to step up and it’s up to Jackson to play the correct players. The Lakers will not lose this series because they have Kobe and they are at home but they just played two extra games compared to the Nuggets who have been resting for a few days now and as we all know, the deeper you go into the playoffs, the more rest you have the better. Especially considering Kobe hasn’t had a summer off for almost two years with his involvement with the USA Olympic team.

If for some reason the world turns over and the Rockets actually win game seven, the blame should fall onto Jackson’s shoulders and rightfully so. You can let your team play through any runs by opposing teams in the regular season but not in the playoffs.  Jackson’s stubbornness to call timeouts and to be loyal to Fisher hurt the Lakers immensely in this series and it could also play a factor in the Conference Finals or even further. His trusted line-up of Fisher, Kobe, Walton, Odom and Gasol is not producing this series but again he still goes with that line-up for long stretches in every game. On top of that, he will not give his youngsters who fresh and quicker legs a chance to help this team out. The Lakers without a doubt have more talent and depth at almost every position but yet they are getting burned by an undersized PG and an undersized C/PF.

Jackson throughout his career has refused to match up against other teams and usually the other teams switched their strategies to match Jackson’s teams but for some reason in this series, Jackson has thrown that out the window and at many times matched Rockets smaller line-up to no success at all. Jackson is without a doubt one of the smartest coaches in NBA history but either he knows something the rest of us don’t or maybe his age has finally caught up to him and he’s losing his touch.

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Category: Basketball

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Another Badass

Writing by Sarpanch Sahib on Monday, 11 of May , 2009

I’ve already shared one Badass with everyone, now it’s time to drop another.

Baba Deep Singh

“Once you step onto this path, you may well give up your head rather than the cause.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that the majority of my readers aren’t exactly experts on Indian history, so it’s probably a safe assumption that you’re not familiar with the story of the Sikh martyr Baba Deep Singh.  Well, it’s time to get educated — because this dude is one of the most hardcore freedom fighters to ever live, and a guy so extreme balls-out in his insatiable quest for vengeance that something as inconsequentially-trivial as being fucking decapitated couldn’t stop him from crushing his enemies to death with his nutsack.

Deep Singh (Baba is a term of reverence roughly equivalent to “Saint”) was baptized a Sikh in 1700, and quickly got busy training in badass martial skills like swordfighting, hand-to-hand combat, horsemanship, resisting torture, circle-strafing, and punching people in the crotch with enough force to blow a hole in a brick wall.  In case many of you out there aren’t down with Sikhism, it’s pretty much one of the most badass religions this side of Valhalla — practioners are given a goddamned sword when they are baptized, and they are bound by their religion to carry this implement of pointed death with them everywhere they go.  They also have to grow super-long awesome beards and badass Rollie Fingers-style handlebar moustaches.  After going through a rigorous and intense initiation training so hardcore that it makes ancient Spartan initiations look like Home Economics Merit Badge Day for Girl Scout Troop 666, Baba Deep Singh retired to a nice quiet life studying the teachings of the great hallowed Gurus, hand-scribing copies of the Sikh holy scriptures, and fighting in large-scale revolutions against the oppressive and tyrannical Mughal Empire.

See, dudes like Babur and Akbar were pretty badass in their own right, but the Sikhs weren’t really down with being ruled over by some godless heathen Muslims, and if there’s one thing you should take from this article it’s that you should generally try to avoid fucking with the Sikhs whenever you get the chance.  One of Baba Deep Singh’s homeboys kicked off a revolution in the Punjab region of India, and it was on like neckbone.  BDS and his dudes jacked up the Mughals and chased them out of their homelands.

But whatever.  This website is full of folks who threw off the yoke of oppression by lopping off their enemies’ heads with hacksaws and then suplexing their decapitated corpses onto a bed of hot coals.  What separates Baba Deep Singh is his mad desire for righteous vengeance, and the lengths he would go to accomplish said feat.  It all got started in 1757, when the Mughal warlord Ahmad Shah Durrani started launching a bunch of raids into India.  He busted in, pillaged, plundered, etc., sacked the city of Delhi, and began triumphantly processing back to Mughal-ville with a newly-acquired trove of plundered goods, stolen religious artifacts, and hot, screaming, kidnapped Indian babes.  Fuck that.  Baba Deep wasn’t going to let that shit fly.  He and his men launched a guerrilla raid on the Mughals while they were on the march, ambushing them, kicking their asses and pulling out their tracheas with their bare hands.  The religious artifacts (and hot babes) were all returned to their rightful locations, and all seemed well with the world once again.

Not so fast.

The Mughals are descended from a dude named Genghis Khan.  Maybe you’ve heard of him.  Well motherfuckers with a pedigree of ultimate extreme asskickings don’t take stuff like this lightly.  Ahmad Shah Durrani, despoiled of all of the shit he worked so hard to steal from teeming throngs of unarmed defenseless peasants, took out his revenge the best way he knew how — by seriously jacking up the Golden Temple of God in the city of Amritsar; the holiest and most hallowed site in the Sikh religion.

The Mughals first blew the shrine up with their cannons, then they slaughtered a bunch of cattle and filled the sacred pools of the temple with cow blood and guts.  Now, most Sikhs don’t hold cows sacred like the Hindus do, but you don’t need to worship at the altar of a bovine god to agree that this is still pretty disgusting and obnoxious.  A large force of soldiers hung around to defend the shrine and prevent the Sikhs from reclaiming the desecrated temple, and the douchebag Mughal ruler picture-messaged pictures of the carnage to Baba Deep Singh’s cell phone.

Our man Baba Deep Singh was seventy-five years old at this time, but he hadn’t lost a step — the only thing his excessively old age did for him was give him a totally awesome beard.  As soon as he heard that the Golden Temple had been profaned and destroyed, he pulled his old, beat-up, thirty-pound Khanda sword off the wall and started walking towards Amritsar.  Along the way, he stopped in at every village he came across, recruiting a huge mob of pitchfork and torch-bearing warriors ready to go Dr. Frankenstein on those Mughal bastards who fucked up their holy monument.  These dudes set out to avenge their temple Bruce Lee-style, and nothing was going to stop them.

The improvised peasant army hurled themselves at the hardened Mughal warriors, and insane bloodshed ensued with the unholy realness.  The Mughals were a well-trained force of asskickers, but the Sikhs were super omega ripshit pissed off, and they were flipping out like assassins on those poor bastards, tearing them new assholes with daggers, tridents, and cordless power drills.  During the fighting, however, Baba Deep Singh launched himself at the commander of the Mughal garrison and both men delivered terrible blows at one another, kind of like the intro to Ninja Gaiden on the old-school Nintendo.  The Mughal’s head slid off of his neck onto the floor with a disgusting squish.  Baba Deep Singh didn’t fare much better — his head had been almost completely severed from his body.  The only thing holding his cranium upright was his left hand.

Baba Deep Singh, however, was a Mughal-killing madman, and he didn’t even give a shit.  He kept fighting, holding his barely-attached head onto his torso with one hand and hacking people in half with his other.  The sight of this dude, sword in one hand, bloody head in the other, must have been pretty goddamned unnerving to the dudes facing him, and the Sikhs cut a swath through the Mughals, driving them from the halls of the sacred temple.  Some legends claim that Baba Deep’s head actually came off at one point, and that he held the disembodied head in his left hand while he fought — sort of like how a chicken with it’s head cut off continues to run around for a while, vengeance was so ingrained into the very fabric of this guy’s being that his wild post-mortem twitching involved lopping off appendages and stabbing people in the brain.

With the Mughals defeated, Baba Deep Singh died on the floor of the Golden Temple of God.  The temple was re-consecrated by Sikh priests, and the spot where Singh fell is now a shrine where pilgrims come from across India to pay their respects to one of their religion’s greatest martyrs.


“There is hardly a mode of torture which the Sikhs have not suffered, and not one has cried in pain or relented.”


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Thas Badass, dudeeeee!

Writing by Sarpanch Sahib on Sunday, 3 of May , 2009

Many of us have heard the story of Mai Bhago or have at least read the story. Every bibi out there has the facts of that story stored in their memory forever to use at a moments notice and because I don’t want only some to have the facts while others don’t, I bring you the following story of Mai Bhago. This is no regular story of the beloved Mai Bhago, this is the serious, straight up, blunt in your face badass version. So without further ado, let me drop it for y’all.

Mai Bhago

“Everybody has to die.  Why not die like a brave person?”

If there’s one thing I hope this website has taught you about the Sikhs, it should be that they don’t really get along with the Mughals.  I’m not an expert on Indian history, but it may have something to do with the descendents of Tamerlane rolling into town, conquering the hell out of everything, subjugating the people, and actively trying to exterminate all traces of their religion.  The fact that the Mughals had a standing cash bounty on severed Sikh heads probably didn’t help diplomatic relations much either.

Well in 1704 the Galactic Mughal Imperial Empire decided that they were going to wipe out Sikhism once and for all.  They freaked out, crushed a couple soda cans on their heads, and dispatched the Mughal Darth Vader to surround the city of Amritsar, lay siege to the Guru of the Sikhs, and destroy the entire religion by killing it’s head honcho in a ridiculously over-the-top violent manner.

(The fact that there are currently 20 million Sikhs in the world should give you some indication of how successful the Mughals were in their endeavors.  It just took them a while to realize that you don’t fuck with these people unless you want to be on the receiving end of a Macho Man Randy Savage-style top-rope elbow drop to the nutsack.)

Now the afore-mentionedleader of Sikhism was a man named Guru Gobind Singh.  Think of this dude kind of like the Sikh Pope (though perhaps the Sikh Buddha would be a more appropriate analogy).  There are only ten Gurus in the entire history of Sikhism, so yeah, you can be pretty sure that this guy was a pretty big deal. He was a pretty serious assbeater in his own right, but to make things worse for the Mughals he was also constantly surrounded by a badass bodyguard of fighters known as “warrior-saints”.  These dudes were kind of like the Apostles, only if Saint Peter went around shooting sword-swinging Centurions in the balls with RPG launchers and liberated his people from the chains of the Roman Empire.  These righteous soldiers were like Sikh Paladins with muskets and totally sweet beards, and they sure as shit weren’t going to just let the Mughals waltz into Amritsar and decapitate the Holiest man in their religion.  They took up arms, fortified the city, and dared the Mughal Empire to step to them.

This battle that ensued was completely off the chain.  It was like the Alamo with turbans.  The Mughals hurled wave after wave of soldiers at the walls of Amritsar, but failed to break through the ranks of the battle-hardened Warrior-Saints and their wide assortment of pointy death-instruments. After several days of increasingly brutal fighting, however, the Mughals slowly began to wear down the town’s defenses.  Eventually, a small group of shell-shocked, war-weary Sikh soldiers decided they’d had enough.  Forty once-stalwart soldiers called it quits, publicly renounced their faith, and peaced out to the nearest place that didn’t have pissed-off Muslims stabbing people in the faces with scimitars every ten seconds.


The Duchess Camilla watching a demonstration of Sikh martial arts.

Well there was one badass chick that wasn’t going to stand for that weak sauce bullshit.  Mai Bhago was a tough-ass babe from a town near Amritsar who had spent most of her adult life training in the fine arts of awesomeness and studying about badassitude, and she wasn’t about to just sit around and let a bunch of ex-Sikh warrior-saints slack off in the facial destruction department - especially when they could be out there dishing out chokeslams and shooting arrows into peoples’ eyes with enough velocity to puncture plexiglass.  Almost immediately upon hearing that there was a group of guys heading towards town who had “gotten bored of fighting the Mughals” and decided they “didn’t feel like” slicing peoples’ necks in half anymore, she go super-pissed off and rode out to meet them.

Mai Bhago came across this sad, disgraceful group of ex-Sikhs not long after she left her town.  As soon as she saw this sorry lot moping around mumbling shit like, “Game over man - game over!”, she jumped off her horse, confidently strode up to the closest guy, and then, out of nowhere, she hauled off and open-hand pimp-slapped the dude in the face really really fucking hard. While the rest of the astonished group stood around with their mouths hanging open, she looked each of them in the eye, one by one.  Then, in a tone of voice that only thinly veiled her seething rage, she said something to the effect of, “If you’re going to act like bitches, then I’m going to fucking treat you like bitches.”  Then she spit, kneed another dude in the junk, and told everybody they needed to sack up and start conducting themselves like the fucking badass Sikh warriors that they were.

Through a delicate, subtle mix of taunting, insults, and hardcore professional wrestling-style pump-up speeches, Mai Bhago made these jerks realize that they had a job to do, and they just needed to pop a couple Zoloft and fucking get out there and do it.  The Guru was badass and all, but he wasn’t exactly going to flash-fry the entire Mughal army by firing a matching set of Proton Torpedoes into the exhaust port of the Taj Mahal while screaming overhead at Mach 2 - he needed his warrior-saints at his side; not to bail out on him right when he was in the middle of what could potentially have been his last stand.

After getting slapped around verbally, physically, and emotionally by our take-no-bullshit, fresh-to-death heroine, the forty ex-Sikhs realized that they needed to snap out of it and get back to the business of violently lacerating the tracheas of their much-hated enemies.  Of course, Mai Bhago wasn’t the sort of hardcore warrior-chick who was just going to be happy to go back to town knowing that she’d done her good deed for the day - no, she fucking put on her wargear, grabbed a sword and a musket, and rode out there at the head of this company of Sikh hardasses to cause a little estrogen-fueled havoc of her own. She was going to show these guys how it was done.

Well without forty of his toughest hombres, the Guru’s situation in Amritsar eventually became untenable.  He (and what little was left of his bodyguard) withdrew from the town, and decided to make a mad, desperate dash for safety. The entire Mughal Army pursued them across India for a couple days, harassing them at every turn, and shit was looking pretty fucking bleak for Guru Gobind Singh and the proponents of Sikhism.

It was at this point that the Guru saw Mai Bhago riding up at the head of a small battalion of re-devoted tough-as-shit Sikh warriors.

Mai Bhago led her men out past the Guru, and right into the face of the entire fucking Mughal Army.  At the Battle of Mukhtsar in 1704, she and her warriors charged into the enemy lines, hacking, slashing, and popping peoples’ heads off with muskets at point-blank range.  Even the Guru got in on the action, sending a golden shower of auric-tipped arrows down on the enemy from a sniper’s nest on a nearby hill.  Mai Bhago herself was credited with taking down something like a half-dozen dudes herself in the exceedingly bloody fighting that ensued. Like I said, this chick meant business.

I came across several conflicting reports of how the battle transpired, ranging from “The Mughals got tired and ran away” to “God came down and smote the entire Imperial army”, but the outcome is always the same - the Mughals were driven from the battlefield, the Guru lived to fight another day, and every member of the Sikh contingent was killed in action.  Well, every Sikh except Mai Bhago. When Guru Gobind Singh went down to survey the epic carnage, he found her lying on top of a heaping pile of dead Mughals, barely clinging to life.  The Guru forgave the forty Sikhs for their moment of weakness, and was so pumped up about how hardcore Mai Bhago was that he gave her a healing potion, restored all of her Hit Points, and brought her into his service as one of his personal bodyguards.  She spent the rest of her life traveling with the Guru, serving as a warrior-saint of the Sikh Religion, and the Sikh Joan of Arc is now revered among her people as a holy warrior who offered disgraced warriors a chance at redemption and fought bravely in the defense of her people.

To this day, the Sikhs still celebrate the anniversary of the battle.

Remeber people, this is the REAL story of what went down back in the day. Don’t forget it.

And a shout out to my mans with the big camera, ‘Sheeeel, for the link.

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Author

This blog for better or worse is an extension of my procrastination and boredom. It's not intended to convince, impress or convert you to be anything more then what you already are, but if it does then more power to it. Do be warned that the time you waste on this site, will be your own and I will not in any way shape or form be held responsible in compensating you for your losses.